


Not on my lips (3/3)

by WendyJoly



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-17
Updated: 2014-10-17
Packaged: 2018-02-21 14:06:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2470913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WendyJoly/pseuds/WendyJoly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There’s a gap between love and sex and you can perfectly hate the person who makes you thrill…at least that’s what Ninomiya Kazunari always thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not on my lips (3/3)

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little fantasy, nothing here could give you headaches ^-^

Title : Not on my lips  
Author : WendyJoly  
Pairing : Ninomiya Kazunari/Sho Sakurai  
Rating : NC-17  
Lenght : chaptered  
Beta : My precious [](http://chibipinkpetals.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://chibipinkpetals.livejournal.com/)**chibipinkpetals**  
Genre : Smut, lies and blindness  
Disclaimer : I owe nothing but Arashi owns surely my soul

Summary : There’s a gap between love and sex and you can perfectly hate the person who makes you thrill…at least that’s what Ninomiya Kazunari always thought.  
Note : Just a little fantasy, nothing here could give you headaches ^-^

 

**_From S:  
We should talk_ **

 

 

 

Certainly not. I was so furious after his last trap that I had the firm intention to avoid him at all cost. If I had to meet him I knew we might end in a bed and that I wouldn’t resist.

 

 

I was not afraid of him, rather of myself.

 

 

He said my body was his and I can’t really deny it, when I’m with him, I’m not myself, he turns me into a sex machine unable to refuse anything to him.

 

 

The next days, I take my shower all alone and avoid to be Oshima. After what I did to her the last time at the party it’s not very difficult, though. She doesn’t seem to be angry with me, but she’s cold enough to make me fear a break-up. I can’t complain since I preferred share Sakurai’s bed rather than her’s. No, wait. That’s not the case. If I hadn’t been so excited I would have slept with her...it’s just that I couldn’t spend my first night with her in this state.

 

 

Hm...since when am I so pathetically predictable I wondered.

 

 

The truth is that I knew since the beginning that Sakurai is only a pastime. My favorite pastime surely but nothing more. And like every pastime, it’s not made for last, perhaps this last fight is the chance to move forward.

 

 

Plus I have a wonderful girlfriend.

 

 

 

“Would you come with me at the Championship?” I say to her as we are walking through the campus.

 

“What?”

 

 

 

She blushes nicely and I grab her hand to hide it in my jacket.

 

 

 

“Next week, we will play the last match at Chiba. I thought that you could be my guest...since we’re staying in a ryokan, it could be fun~”

 

“Okay.”

 

“You’re okay?”

 

“Of course, how could I refuse a championship match?”

 

 

 

She smirks maliciously and I nod, happy to have taken the good decision; an adult decision.

 

 

 

+=

 

 

 

Sakurai harassed me during almost two weeks before giving up and even if I made up my mind, my body is not totally aware of my decision. Every night I wake up suddenly, feeling his hands on me and his mouth on my skin, my entire being claiming his due .

 

 

Guess I will need some times to forget what we shared.

 

 

The bruises are disappearing slowly but I figure out that I will miss them because somehow it’s my last link with him. Once this hickeys gone, I could think that I dreamt our entire relationship...but that’s what I wish, isn’t it?

 

 

I spot him several times with the guy I saw the other night with him and they are obviously together. My pride is hurt because I never thought he could choose a man rather than a girl but I’m aware that it’s insane. He owes me nothing and if he’s really gay, great...I don’t give a shit.

 

 

The bus drops us off at the huge stadium where we will play the next day and we run into our opponents. The staff is preparing the place so we can’t get down but we take the time to sit on the benches. I can’t wait to play, it was always like that the day before an important match. It’s a good pressure and when we enter the ryokan we are all pretty excited.

 

 

Oshima is already here with our staff and some girlfriends. I recognize the tall girl from the gokon and have the surprise to learn that she goes out with Masaki.

 

 

Since three weeks he told me and I figured out how much I was unable to pay attention to my friends since a moment.

 

 

We go to the bath which is not common with girls and after a quick final meeting, everyone head to the bedrooms.

 

 

I’m about to enter the one I share with Masaki when he grabs his bag.

 

 

“I sleep with Mika, Yuko will take my place. Yoroshiku.” He smiles and leaves the room discreetly, letting the sliding door open for Oshima who’s waiting in the corridor..

 

 

“Excuse me.”

 

 

She enters the bedroom and she already wears the traditional yukata. She’s really pretty and I steps back to let her come in.

 

 

 

“I didn’t plan this you know...Masaki-kun and Mika were…”

 

“I know, don’t worry. I’m happy you could be here with me.”

 

“Are you tired?”

 

“Yeah, I’m pretty tired and we play tomorrow, we should go to bed.”

 

 

 

I show her the two futons and once again I realize how much I’m not agitated when I’m with her. She appeases me and when I think about it it’s a real problem. Her reddish cheeks, her hands she’s moving nervously...she is obviously very agitated. Is she waiting for a night of love with me? The day before a so important match?! I can’t waste my energy...shit. She puts her futon against mine and she slips in the sheets, gazing at me shyly.

 

 

I sit on mine and look at her, awkwardly.

 

 

Then I lay down on mine, like a coward, and turn off the lights. I don’t know how to say what I want to say without hurting her.

 

 

 

“Good night.”

 

“Nino?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“I’m ready you know...with you I could…”

 

“I’ve got an important match tomorrow I have to sleep.”

 

“So why did you ask me to come?”

 

“...You’re my girlfriend, isn’t it? It’s the kind of things you ask to your girlfriend.”

 

“Having sex too is the kind of things you’re supposed to do with your girlfriend.”

 

 

 

I’m astonished by her honesty. I never thought...I sit back on my futon and she does the same.

 

 

 

“I don’t want to rush our relationship.”

 

“You’re the only one of your kind.”

 

“Perhaps but it’s an important commitment.”

 

“Wait...you’re virgin?!”

 

“No!! Not at all! But…”

 

“You don’t like me.”

 

“Of course I do...I love you.”

 

“But you don’t want to sleep with me.”

 

“Later?”

 

“Okay. I can be comprehensive but how do you see the future with me? Tell me you need your entire will to not jump me and I will understand. But if you don’t feel the need to touch me now, what will be our future?”

 

“I’m not…”

 

 

 

I was about to say that I’m not a man interested by the physical side of a relationship but it would be a lie. A sole gaze to Sakurai and I’m on fire.

 

 

 

“Listen. I know you’re in love with someone else.”

 

 

 

What?! Where did she find a so ridiculous idea?

 

 

 

“I’m not in love with someone else.”

 

“I saw the hickeys the other day. On your stomach. Be honest please.”

 

 

 

I was about to deny everything, to tell her she misunderstood but she’s right I owe her honesty.

 

 

 

“It’s just sex. Only a sex friend, not even friend. I don’t have any feelings for this person.”

 

“Of course you have since you sleep with her.”

 

“Not like the feelings I have for you.”

 

“Yet it’s not me that you desire.”

 

“It’s over now. I will not see...her...again.”

 

 

 

I don’t use the “him”, after all there is no point to tell her it’s a man.

 

 

 

“But you think of her all the time, I saw your look when you’re spacing out.”

 

“I will forget, don’t worry.”

 

“I really love you Nino but I can’t. I can’t be with someone who thinks of another girl. Even if you pretend it’s only sex, if you didn’t have any feeling for her, you would not think to her like this.”

 

“You’re wrong Yuko.”

 

“I’m right and I think it’s better if we break up now. I don’t want to wake up in ten years and realize that the man I love would prefer to share his bed with someone else.”

 

 

 

I hang my head and nod in silence. She’s certainly not right about Sakurai but something doesn’t work between us.

 

 

 

“I guess that if I go back to my bedroom now they will be furious.”

 

“So stay. I’ll behave don’t worry.”

 

 

 

She laughs and lays down. Once again I’m woken up by a wet dream and I can’t take it anymore. When the morning comes my head is a mess and I need a serious warm-up to be in the game again.

 

 

Once on the diamond I forget everything and the match is like a dream. I play with all my heart, all my might and we win by a few points only but we don’t care. We win, that’s all.

 

 

When we come back at the university a party is waiting for us but I’m not really in the mood for this. I think over and over about what Yuko told me and I’m sad because I hurt her. She’s here tonight and she acts as if nothing happened but I can’t help noticing the black circles around her eyes.

 

 

 

“If you’re tired I can walk with you to your dormitory.”

 

“Yeah...why not.”

 

 

 

We greet everybody and take our leave. We’re not ‘together’ anymore but nothing really changed between us, we act like we always did. I leave her at her door and I head back to my building. I’m all alone tonight because Aiba will sleep once again at Mika’s place and I can’t wait to be alone. I took the decision to send a mail to Sakurai. I want to tell him officially that I will not see him, it’s probably better.

 

 

The thing is that I didn’t expect to find him at my door. He never came here because we’ve only ever saw each other to have sex in his room because he has a single room and I have to share mine.

 

 

 

“Omedeto.”

 

“Hm?”

 

“For the championship, I heard.”

 

“And you came here for this? You never come here.”

 

 

 

I open the door and let it ajar for him to follow me.

 

 

 

“I guess we never talked properly.”

 

“Faster, faster, like this, yeah like this...it’s not a proper talk?”

 

 

 

I smirk bitterly and if I’m angry now I don’t even know why.

 

 

 

“Nino…”

 

“Sakurai?”

 

“I missed you.”

 

 

 

I’m dumbfounded for a moment seeing his puppy eyes. I sit on my bed and he falls on Aiba’s. It’s strange to see him here.

 

 

 

“Your sexual life is not satisfying enough with your cute boy?”

 

 

 

Shit I didn’t want to sound so bitter but I have the feeling to hear an ex-girlfriend.

 

 

 

“I’m not with him anymore. We broke up.”

 

“So you thought that you could use your stamina with you old buddy?”

 

 

 

He kneels in front of me and slides between my legs. He stares at me and I melt.

 

 

 

“We broke up because I realized something.”

 

“”What?”

 

“I will never want anybody the way I want you.”

 

 

 

He leans forward to me and I stop him as he’s about to kiss me.

 

 

 

“What are you doing? Since when do we kiss?!”

 

“I’ve always wanted to kiss your lips.”

 

“It’s too intimate…”

 

 

 

Oh Gosh...I’m already ready to give up and his hands on my thighs are burning me.

 

 

He pushes me gently and lays me down on the bed. His hands are at each side of my head and I close my eyes when he leans on me.

 

 

 

“Open your eyes, Kazu, please.”

 

 

 

I do what I’m told and he smiles as he takes my lips for the very first time. But this smile soon disappears and his kiss is stronger on my mouth. I grab his nape and part my lips to taste his tongue. How could we have sex without ever kissing I wonder now. It’s the most exciting and erotic things we ever did. I hear his moan and mine and I wrap my legs around his waist to sense his lower belly against mine.

 

 

I move mine and unbutton his shirt to caress his back eagerly.

 

 

 

“Wait, wait…”

 

 

Is he mad? That’s the first time he tries to stop me, to stop us.

 

 

 

“What do you want for us?”

 

“What? What do you think we’re doing?”

 

“Why can’t you see it?”

 

 

 

He strokes my cheek tenderly, his mouth misshaped by a smirk.

 

 

 

“See what?”

 

“Sex…why sex is so good for us. Why it can’t be so good with anybody else. I don’t really understand why but I love you and you love me. It’s as simple as that.”

 

“I...no, I don’t love you Sakurai. Are you drunk?”

 

“I’m not and I can assure you that you will tell me you love me too before dawn.”

 

 

 

He’s right.

 

When the dawn rose up, as we’re laying against each other in my single bed, our legs intertwined I whispered my first ‘I love you’ at his ears and we finally fell asleep.

 

We didn’t even hear Aiba trying to enter the bedroom.

 

 

 

That's all folks ^-^


End file.
